Posted in I-Ching

I-Ching Reading 08/12/2016 – Transitioning

I have been a translator and teacher for most of my adult life. The natural transition of any lover of languages is writing, and that is the problem.

I have started a few things and never manage to finish them because of my translation work. Every time I have a new project, the inspiration goes out the window and I have to change my entire frame of mind. So, the time came to ask the I-Ching for guidance.

Is writing the answer?

Last night, I got Biting Though or Hex 21, which is self-explanatory. This hexagram is all about doing what you have to do now, and being decisive and strong about it, like a bite.

Still not happy with the answer (the doubts and confusion were blurring my capacity to reason at this point), I decided to ask again this morning.

The answer was 64 – Undone or Not Yet Across, lines 1, 2 and 6. For a detailed and amazingly perfect explanation of this Hex, read this link at Pathfinder and this link at Dyoxy.org

As I read through the explanation, I cried. Yes. I did. It was so precise it felt like I was sitting in front of a physical master listening to the reply to my question. A clairvoyant told me a long time ago that I would find a master that would be perfect for me, and I now know that master is the I-Ching. I used to decipher the symbols and lines alone in the past, with some help from websites and other readers, but since I found Pathfinder, Yijing, and Online Clarity, I read their interpretations first and then try to intuitively decipher the answer. In this case, there was no need.

There is really no point in adding anything here about the interpretation because it´s all there in the link above. I just wanted to register this transition in my life and how the I-Ching helped me find the courage and strength to continue.

Posted in I-Ching

I-Ching – How I ask and where

The secret to a good I-Ching reading is asking the right question. I ask about work projects at least one a month just to see if I should give up completely or continue.

For the reading, I use the amazing, incredible, life-saving website of LiSe YiJing. For the actual reading, I use the Virtual yallow stalks. Type the question and focus as I click through the throws. I used to use the manual coin tosses, but I love this website so much I just can´t leave!

To interpret the answers, I use 5 resources:

a) a book with amazing interpretations but nothing subjectively explained;

b) the hex interpretations for the LiSe YiJing website that appear after the process has finished;

c) Pathfinder interpretation;

d) Legge´s intepretation;

e) Wilheim´s translation;

f) Tony Crisp’s interpretation (when I get totally stuck).

Example of a reading

I have always written my questions, readings and interpretations in a notebook, but today I decided it was time to make it public. Learning is always easier with an audience, right? And there is no better way to learn than sharing experiences and comments with others. No one really masters this anyway and it is a life-long adventure, but I consider the I-ching my master and have for more than 14 years.

Today I asked the following question: Tell me about project X (a website I started 2 years ago and basically abandoned).

The result was Hex 10, Line 6; Hex 58

Hex 10 is all about doing things the right way, about following rules and considering the right timing and attitude about something. It´s about being respectful of a process. The symbol is (very basically) a person walking behind a tiger that can turn around and snap them in the face any second, especially if that person steps on its tail.

Line 6 is about not doing things we don´t feel are right for us. About doing things for a reason and returning to that reason. It´s about calculating why things went wrong and trying again, about correcting mistakes and expanding.

Hex 58 is about expanding (nice, right?) and exchanging with people. It´s about nurturing, about watering things that are growing without too much hassle. Doing what is necessary so things can naturally expand. Things can´t grow alone. We have to open up and support and there is always some return.

I hope this short and very basic interpretation can give you some idea of how it works. You have to adapt the interpretation to your question and the answer pops up. You have to use your insight, your intuition and your intelligence to decipher the message.

So, based on my question I understood that I still have steps to complete and I have to return to them and nurture the project that is already there, just waiting for my attention. No mega investment required. Just natural, heart-felt support.

 

 

Posted in Abstract Ramblings

Almost done!

A couple of years ago I embarked on a life-changing experience from small town dweller to rural self-employed nature enthusiast. Well, it´s almost done. I now live in my own farm called Chácara Colorado (has it´s own facebook page, too) and am diving face first into home cooking and country livin’. To make things even more real, I am also homeschooling/unschooling my daughter.

The change was a little tough on the hubby because he is the only one who really knows what he’s doing when it comes to animals and plants, but now his brother is here and life is getting increasingly easier.

We did it. Old age, here I come 🙂

Posted in I-Ching

Creepy I-ching experience

The other day my dogs went missing. They just ran off one night and didn´t come back the next day. Two days passed and they were still gone. We searched and searched, glued pos5524197273_f630198de6_mters to lamp posts, posted on Facebook. Nothing happened. After the third sleepless night, I decided to consult the I-Ching. I had no idea if you can use it for these things, but what the heck, I was desperate.

On the third day I used the coin method and got 52 – Kên, which basically means wait. It is remaining still to see clearly. I also got 40, which is Liberation, removing obstacles or the removal of obstacles. The lines told me to do what I could.

IMG_20150710_104330_959
My dogs after days of roaming in the woods. They took another 3 days just to recover.

Then, on the fourth day I tried again. The first time I got 37 Chia   Jên/Family, no lines. Okkkk, I thought. That means we will all be united soon, right? Just in case, I tried with another system and even changed the question slightly, asking for more information. I got 37 Chia Jên again, with two lines!

The same thing happened with tarot cards once. I chose a pile and they are all initial numbers. The woman asked me to do it again. She re-shuffled and asked me to choose. I chose again and got the same initial numbers!

In both cases, the answers were right. The dogs came back that same day and my life was at the initial stages of a huge change of course.

 

 

 

 

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/40243163@N08/5524197273″>Monedas de I Ching</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

Posted in Abstract Ramblings

Why there are so many black men in prison

Put your hand on your heart and tell me you have never asked yourself this question. Tell me you have never compared or wondered by races are so different and so full of labels. I clearly remember one day at school, a boy was mugged by a black man in the street and swore he would always hated all black people from that day on (black = mugger). Today, I read an article about how white people see themselves as individuals, but see black people as, well, black people; as a whole. When one of use screws up, we all do (black = minority).

So, the race issue is always there, people discuss and argue and that question just lingers. Many have long given up trying to figure out why most of Africa is so poor. I will not talk about that now because I don´t want to start a wave of hate mail on my blog, BUT, although I am aware of the race issue, I am not a whining black woman. I am just a WOMAN who blames no one for my misfortune. I was never a slave and don´t know anyone who was. I am glad I was born in Argentina instead of Africa because it made my life the way it is. It made me who I am. Colour means nothing to me except for the obvious cultural aspects.

So, back to the question that so many people find almost impossible to answer, including Angelou, to my gasping surprise.

6282315850_18d5f60b4a_m Here goes… reminding you that my blog is called philosophy of 1…which means I took this idea from no one except from hours of nighttime thought.

The reason there are so many black men in prison is because we blacks are impulsive. Usually, when a black man wants something, he just takes it. When he wants to hit someone, he just hits them. Years of social conditioning can quieten this impulsiveness, but we are basically wired that way. A black man (or woman) who has not learned to control this impulse and the impulse to do bad (steal, fight, attack) will usually make a mistake. There is no premeditation, no elaborate plan. He just does it, gets caught and goes to jail or pays for the consequences.

White people, on the other hand, are less physical and therefore less impulsive. If they want to steal (and that also goes for other races), they elaborate, they plan and come up with a complex web of whatever it is they want to do. Have you ever heard of a black man involved in a ponzi scheme? No, neither have I.

The good news, for black people anyway, is that we tend to destroy the lives of less people, although the violence tends to be greater. We don´t start cold wars. We don´t get together to ruin the financial system of an entire country. We don´t push so many people to suicide or total financial ruin. We don´t thin so much about the later, we think about the now.

The bad news is that we get caught more often and our crimes are easier to prove. We do them in front of everyone. Not much planning involved. We just jump up and give that punch or grab that bike.

Yes, all races are capable of massive amounts of harm and suffering. All HUMANS are capable of evil. I was just talking about why we, black people, get caught more often.

Now don´t ask me that silly question again.

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/27865228@N06/6282315850″>Day 40 Occupy Wall Street October 25 2011 Shankbone 5</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

Posted in Abstract Ramblings

News so far – 16 July 2015

IMG_20150620_133235Not much has changed since I initially started my trip to a new life, but I realized that life changes have to be gradual and 100% voluntary, so it´s fine. I still weigh the same, after dropping to 76 and getting a request from my companion to not lose any more weight. After a very hectic 2014, I basically fell into translating again and don´t get much exercise, so I went back to the 82. The good news is that I know eat much healthier food and live a very stress-free life. In many ways, my life is perfect. I wake up and go to sleep whenever I want to, eat well and have time to cook good food for less due to our kitchen garden (news there). I have great clients who give me decent deadlines and like and recommend my work.

What am I complaining about, right?

I want to have a more active life void of any routine and be 80% self-sufficient.

IMG_20141112_165928_067There is also a lot of construction work I don´t have extra money to finance, but we are getting there. The first project are decent stables for IMG_20141104_090256_299our two horses and a kennel for our two pitbulls, Sunny and Kira.

This year, we started with the bakery and we are currently selling pull-apart bread, brownies and pineapple cake. If we had a larger oven, we could sell a lot more. That´s also part of the recent IMG_20150711_094926_832projects.

 I have also learned how to crochet and plan on making my own clothes.

The toughest part is finding a way to finance everything and not die working. I want to invest in the bakery because it´s very enjoyable working as a family team and getting such great feedback from our customers.

We are also managing to pay for other´s to work at the farm and we are taking care of all the bushland and forest around our home. Lots of things to do and happy to work for something that is ours. Life is good, and it will get even better.

Posted in Family

To my son

I don’t know if the day you were born was the happiest day of my life, because I was hit by a violent combination of panic, fear of hurting this tiny new being, curiosity, realism and responsibility.me_martin It might not have been the happiest day of my life, but I felt love grow slowly when I was finally alone with my tiny baby and had all night to look at each of his toes, fingers, his ears, nose, belly button, ankles, head, hair…. when I had time to inhale the funny and new scent of his skin. It was the most special day of my life, that I know.martin_1mes

Although we had the support of my grandmother, bless her amazing soul, your father and I had a tough time in the beginning. We lived in this tiny one-room flat near your grandparents house. Your grandmother, Marina, helped a lot, and I mean a lot. She and my grandmother were my saving angels. No mother should be alone when she has a new baby. My grandmother paid for our rent, your nappies, our marina_martinfood, everything. Your father sold fruit salad in the streets until we realized we were just spending what we made on the same thing. That was when I decided to move to Ibiza. Your father did not like the idea, although he still denies it. I insisted. There is nothing for us here. Even his mother insisted.

max_martinI contacted Uva and she helped me get a house. My grandmother and Tinina (so she says) paid for the plane tickets and rent, they even gave me money to buy a car.

I won’t burden you with the depressing details, but your father deserves some credit. I was not a happy person (my fault, no one else’s) and it showed. There was something wrong with the whole family thing. Your father worked like an animal and was always generous to me. Once, only once, he threw something in my face and I eventually started cleaning other people’s houses so that would not happen again.

roque_martinWe started to fight. All the time. My father had warned me the that men like your father (mummy’s boys), start to feel jealous of their kids when they reach 2. It seemed that on your 2nd birthday everything changed. Once you dropped a glass of Coca Cola and I will never forget your tiny, frightened face as you ran to me for cover. That was when I knew something had to change.

We continued fighting. It seemed that every time I focused on you, on your needs, he would find something to fight about. It was constant. martin_lucasYou were always holding onto my hand, ignored. Neither of us saw you. I only saw you when I was alone with you, and what I saw was sadness. Both of us were miserable.

All three of us went on holidays to Bahia. Ricky came with us. One night, you wanted to sleep with me, you were afraid. I rejected you, Your father rejected you. Ricky did not. He open his hammock and took you in. You slept soundly for the first time in months. Ricky carried you when your father could not be bothered, He fed you when your father told you to go away. Everyone noticed. I saw it, but thought I was powerless. I tried to fix it, but was so caught up in the fighting that I never seemed to have the time or energy.  martin_taide

One day, we wen to call your father’s mother to Morro. Your father asked you to talk to his mother, You said no. He had not taken the least bit of notice of you all summer, so why should you? You were so tiny, 2 and a few months. So tiny and so determined. He called you an ‘effing faggot’. That was the day I knew I would leave him. That was the day I knew I would take him away from you.

A week later we left, in the middle of our summer holidays. with the excuse that I wanted to see my grandmother in Argentina. We never came back. I told you father it was over over the phone. He does not want to accept or understand the reason to this day. He never will. It´s ok. It doesn´t matter.

When I was 5 months pregnant. My great aunt, a witch, touched my tummy and said my husband was not what I thought he was. She said I would suffer a lot and then be very happy. After I left him, people started to tell me things. His friends, people he had worked with. They told me he would say things like ‘ She thinks she’s so cool when she speaks in English to him’. They were shocked, so they said, but the shock was all mine. He had never said things like that to me. He wouldn’t have dared.

martinWhen we got to Bebedouro, we were the sorriest couple of people in the world. I would cry at the dinner table, at the breakfast table, people just got used to seeing me cry. It took me 4 years to get over it. I missed your father at first, he had been a good husband but a lousy father to you.Then I stopped missing him after we spent one holiday together and he insulted me all over again. You were hanging onto my arm all over again. Forgotten all over again. priscila_martinThen he took you on holidays to Bahia. You did not want to go but I insisted. I think that is the thing I regret most about this entire pathetic story. Having let you go. Seeing you walk away broke my heart and I wanted to run back, grab you and run. You had a miserable time. You would not eat and people called me saying your father was not treating you very well. When you came back and saw me, you ran to me and I picked you up. You did not take your tiny face out of my neck for an hour. You refused to look at your father. At home, you made me promise I would never leave you like that again.

Years passed, Your father would come but he never took you away again. I did not let him. When you turned 6, I started a relationship with Jeni. At first it was not love or passion. It was not intentional and I had never felt anything other than curiosity towards him before. I had need alone for 4 years and suddenly he was there, listening, talking, helping me with you, available and as miserable as I was. He even had a girlfriend who stayed over at our house a few nights. When he stopped seeing her, we were both alone. It happened. That´s all.

Then your father found out and everything was over. Not with Jeni, with all the rest. I never forgave my father for telling him and I told him that. I broke off all relations and had to leave the farm that had kept us protected for so long. You were afraid, I had no money, no home, no support whatsoever. My mother says she supported me, and she did with some things, but she has never, ever, for as long as I have been alive, confronted my father or protected us against his actions and harsh words. It is her limitation and I don’t hold it against her. That is how their relationship was built. But I know I will never do that, to anyone.

Jeni, you and I went to live in a horrible, dangerous place where you suffered. I know you did. You are so strong, your little smile and company, sitting under that tree wondering when Jeni would come back after a nasty fight. I was a mess.

Then came the invitation to travel with your father. He took all your papers, but I never thought you would never come back. I decided to take advantage of the months without you and just leave. Jeni and I sold everything we had, gave it all away, packed two bags on a trolley and left. Walking. To Bahia. We hitched for 7 days. We slept on petrol station floors, ate the food truck drivers and restaurant owners gave us and got to Itacaré with 50 reais. The experience was not bad, It taught me there are good people everywhere.

Itacaré was tough. No one wanted to give me a job. They felt intimidated that I could speak three languages. I eventually met a woman who opened an English school with me. I rented a room with Jeni in her house. We were ready to receive you.

I got a call. Your father said you wanted to talk to me.Your tiny voice came on the line. You talked a little, you sounded afraid. I asked you when you were coming and you started to cry. Your father snatched the phone from you and shouted at me, saying I was a bitch, how dare I make you cry. He hung up in my face. I started to shake. I literally shook in front of all those people in the phone line.

I got another call. It was my father. No, it wasn´t him. It was my sister´s friend, his new ‘assistant’. She said, your father wants me to tell you your son is never coming back. I could hear my father’s voice on the other side saying, hang up, hang up. I fainted. I FAINTED.

At that very moment, my soul, my mind, my heart broke all at the same time. I lost all direction, everything went black and I touched insanity.

Jeni, Jeni. That man some criticize so much, He was my savior. I will never, ever, ever stop being grateful to him for staying with such a crazy woman for so much time after that. I would go out in the middle of the night in my night clothes looking for you. I could hear your voice. I could hear you calling me. I would open my arms and feel your little body. I would look at the moon. Do you remember the moon? Do you remember when I told you you could always speak to me by looking at the moon? Do you remember when I told you that when you missed me, you should talk to the moon and I would be looking at it too? Do you remember that? I would look at the moon all the time. All the time.

It got so bad, that my business partner took me to see a witch. He said your father did not know what to do with you, but that I was doing nothing to get you back. He said our connection was very strong and that if I talked to you, you would listen. He said he saw you next to me, but in a long time.

My temporary insanity eventually diminished. It never went away, but I became functional again. I taught English, I communicated… why didn’t I go after you? Because I did not have money to go where you were. I was barely making enough to eat and pay the very low rent. Jeni was fishing all day and made almost nothing. Because I did not have any support from my family or from anyone who could help me. Because they had told me you wanted to go with him. I do not pity myself. I do not regret not going after you because I know you did not want the life I had given you. The witch told me my mother would try to do something, but did not know how to. I heard she went after you, and you went to see a psychiatrist and that you wanted to go. You did not know the extent of your decision, you were too young to know what life without a mother was like. I felt totally helpless to change what was happening. I do know, that if I had had the money, I would have gone. I don’t know if it would have worked, but I would have gone. But I did not. The only person in the world who could have helped me did not have any money now either, my grandmother.

Your father would call me angry saying you missed me, that I had to go. He wanted me back. I knew the hell we had been through would only return even if I did want him back. He had always said he would not let another man raise you, so I knew it would be an ugly, ugly war. I wanted to save you. I wanted to save myself from that war.

After a long time, I blackmailed your father to give me the divorce or I would take you away. I did not have money then either, but I was stronger. I had just given birth to Luna. I blackmailed him because I wanted it to be final. I wanted him to know I would never go back. Luna and I went to Ibiza, he paid. He paid for everything. I had to decide in the airport if I would be nice or horrible. It was a split-second decision. I decided to be nice.

You know one thing I have always wondered? One thing I would really like to know? Once my mother said, when you were visiting in Florianopolis after my divorce trip, she said, If you speak in English to us, you can stay. You made an effort to speak in English. Why didn´t you say you wanted to stay? Did you want to stay? When she went to visit you in Ibiza, you asked her if you could go to Germany with her. She said no. Why didn´t you insist? When I was there with Luna, and your father cursed you because you dropped ketchup, like he used to. You looked at me as if you wanted me to take you away. Why didn´t you ask me to? Did you ever feel I did not want to be with you after so long?

Your father has always had more resources to look after you than I have. I have bee finding my way since you were born and have never had much money to pay for the expensive schools and nice bikes your father pays for. I have always thought you were happier with him although it took you a while to get used to being without me. You did not seem sad or tormented. Did you ever want to come back, even with the limited resources?

Do I regret anything? Only that I did not have the stability you needed. I know people will always judge me. Even my own mother, who I will not judge because you are not her son, you are mine, judges me. She says, I would have done anything to get my child back. I don’t believe her because I know her story, but I accept the accusation. I was too traumatized, too lost to drag you into my private hell. I did not want it to be as it was. I did not want any part of it. I wanted to be free of your father. I needed to know he could do nothing to me so I could then, maybe have a relationship with you. Sometimes I regret that I did not convince you to stay when you came to Florianopolis, the only time I could have kept you. But when I saw the admiration you had for your father, I said nothing. If his father has done a good job and he wants to go back… I cried when you left. It was the only time I really cried since you were taken away.

Do I forgive him, your father? No. I am sorry, but I never will. I am grateful he did give you a better, more resourceful life than I could have, but I do not forgive him for the hole he left in my soul. For the nights I almost went completely insane looking for you in the streets. For the nights I embraced the moon.

I love you my son. I love you, love you, love you. When you need me, I will be here for you. I am not good at showing it, or letting myself go because I see your father in you and I still have traumas and resentment to deal with. I am being as honest as I possibly can, as open and sincere as possible. You are the sun of my life. Try to be happy and I hope I can be a bigger part of your life in the future.

I did not re-read this because I wanted each word to come out of my heart spontaneously, without revisions.

This song is for you. Even if you don´t like the singer, the words are for you.

Posted in Healthy Eating

Juicing

One of my goals is to gradually go from eating processed, artificial and even cooked foods to raw food. One of the easiest ways to do this, so I´m told, is juicing. I mean, it´s really tough to eat some raw foods so juicing makes sense. I found these useful websites that are just about that:

http://www.raw-foods-diet-center.com/vegetable-juicing-recipes.html

Most people who juice their veggies only use veggies, but to make it easier for me, I am incorporating orange juice to just about all of them.

Today, I tried beetroot, carrot and orange. Feeling very proud of myself.